And I hate who I am
And I hate who I'm not

Tomorrow I go back to work
I barely woke up when I got home today

It's not so bad when I'm there
It's killing me like that

I should just give up
But I don't know if I could stand not to hate it

Quick Update:

I'm still capable of being more of an asshole than I had hoped as evidenced by my spooning watermelon juice onto a friend's jeans last night to win a futile argument. And then saying, "That's a victory for me."

I still hate the job that I have to start back to in the morning since it makes me feel like less of a man to be working for The Man. But then again, making money to support myself makes me feel like more of a man, so I guess the two cancel out. I'm still as much a man. I hope. What even is man?

I still can't cope with my sister since I managed to pass by her and make a silent joke without having to really talk to her the other night at the mall.

I still wonder if this album that the band is working on (mainly Rudy and I) will amount to anything at all. I really want to tour. I don't know if I'll be able to. The old plan was to be done by now so that we could start putting ourselves out there. I think I secretly hoped we'd get some attention before June so that somebody would book us a tour for the Summer. I should really stop keeping plans to myself.

Sorry, don't have any pictures of Jon in chaps yet.

Entheogens

This greatly amusing comic has inspired me to try for faith in a whole new way. All I need to do is contact a local dealer and purchase some entheogens to form my own personal link to God. Why let a church/mosque/temple help me out with this? I can get all messed up and do it myself! LSD Religious Pamphlet

Stress

This video blows my mind. It stresses me out. It makes me believe in a Hobbesian human nature where two humans in a "natural state" encounter one another and are immediately hostile. Alliances are only formed to further aggression.

How real is this? All I know is that it's freaky.