Fame and Respect

I want to be famous. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. That is, I'm not sure which role I want to fulfill in society. But I'm sure I want most everybody to know that I'm doing it. Up until about three weeks ago I was fairly convinced that I didn't care if anybody liked me; I just wanted them to know about me.

The problem is, that I'm a pretty likeable person. At least I think so. I mean, I bitch nonstop on this blog shit, but in person I'm pretty easy to like. So if somebody really despises me, chances are they don't know me all that well.

I used to say that I could get any woman. Literally any woman. All they'd have to do is get to know me. I'm not the most attractive guy physically, but I've got some pleasant features and my future seems to be going places (hey, I'm planning to be famous) so I figured I had a chance with anybody who'd give me one. Fortunately my wife felt this way too, so we hooked up and yeah, look where that went. People just need a chance.

Think about it: most everybody is pretty likeable. Even villains. Take a look at film. The only villains that you despise are the ones you never get to see both sides of. Every villain has a softer side, a vulnerable side that was exploited to make them villains. And we're all weak in some way, so we can identify with villains, so any villain you get to know is pretty difficult to despise.

I'm not saying I'm a villain. Or at least that's not exactly what I'm saying. But I think that if people dislike me it's because they haven't seen the other sides of me. They're probably judging by one smallish example of my personality and not taking it in stride with the rest of me. If you got to know a well-rounded picture of me you'd see that I care about more than just myself (shock.)

So lately I've been really careful around people I just met. They don't have a lot of material at their disposal to use in measuring my comments, so if I make a wrong move that could be the most they ever get to know of me. Once they spend a good amount of time with me I can feel more comfortable to act like a jerk or joke around about their problems, etc. (villain type behavior)

The prospect of fame is really frightening to this newly sensitive me. All anybody ever gets to know of you is those single comments. You have to be careful all the time. And yet, few well-behaved people ever make history. Predicament.

I need to find something righteous to be villainous about. Those are the folks that get attention and respect both. I think.