wine never begs for company

and that's got everything to do with misspelling
and nothing to do with alcohol

don't take sides
don't stay neutral
don't stick around

i have comments
this is otherworldly

well, i hope you don't come to expect anything
today was just another
damn day

i fixed a few things
from yesterday

i laid some traps
for tomorrow

i'm not the first guy
to get a rise
from deception

there's a whole cabinet and a congress and whatnot
of guys like me
and they're paid by the guys
like me
and like me
they're slaves to the
moneymakers

i need a job

times like this i feel like drinking
not to feel drunk
i hate that

i feel like drinking
because the drink's a killer
and i feel like killing
and i feel like dying

alcohol destroys a man
and i want to be a destroyer
and i want to be destroyed

i hope nobody reading this
mistakes these words
for poetry

i don't fancy myself a poet
or anything
like that

but i guess
the fact that i
am announcing this
to nobody
(only i read this, and only once per post)
is proof
that i have considered
the fact
that i could be confused
as trying
to be poetic

what a waste that would be

i have traveled through time
and found that most of it
was a waste

like most of my days

a waste of time

until she comes home

and then i just blow it

i wish i could look at the opportunity of tomorrow
and see opportunity
instead of sorrow.

shit,
oh god,
for something to look forward to.

the church is shrinking
and i should be happy
but all i do is wonder
where will all the mongoloids go
when they're not being watched
with holy eyes.

probably come to my house.

you probably couldn't tell the difference.

i hate yelling adults
kids are fine
outdoors

but no division
between in or out
makes me
forgive/allow/dismiss
a parent
or less devoted adult
raising their voice

even in emergencies
your voice is too small
to do good.

sitting on the porch
in the late afternoon
wondering
did i waste this day?

i accomplished
some things
i guess

no, definitely
i got a lot done

i just took steps
backwards
in some ways.

to be so close
to completing
this task
makes me mad
with isolation

i wonder
as i sit on my porch
in the early evening
i wonder
does she think about me
at times like this?
does she imagine it will
all be back to normal
tomorrow
the way that i do
when she's the one?

but that's not quite right

because i'm not the one today
and neither is she

god, i feel like such a big disappointment

haven't felt so disappointing
since getting caught
flipping off
kids in the park
at eight years old.

that's when you deserve
grounding.

now i just wish i could stay
grounded
long enough
to figure out what's going on.

today is my birthday
i'm freezing a wart
i'm going swimming at a reservoir
i tried to eat waffles
i was out of syrup
i mixed some songs
i took a shower
i had some sex

happy day in indiana
at 22