Stress

This video blows my mind. It stresses me out. It makes me believe in a Hobbesian human nature where two humans in a "natural state" encounter one another and are immediately hostile. Alliances are only formed to further aggression.

How real is this? All I know is that it's freaky.

Pradiohince

The internet video that made my life today. Good audio quality, somewhat poor video. Wish I'd been there to see this over the weekend. Amazing.

The Way

Winter comes and snow
I can't marry you, you know
Without you the winter grows
I can't marry you, you know

Love me the way i love you
Love me the way i love you

Take a year in your hands
You can find another man
Let your unloved parts get loved
I will be your man

Love me the way i love you
Love me the way i love you

Places you should be afraid
Into the river we will wade

Love me the way i love you
Love me the way i love you

"The Way" by Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

One of my greatest achievements in life is to have remained a virgin till my wedding day and to have married a virgin wife. Clears up a lot of the trouble of worrying whether you're the best the other person's ever had. One can't compare what one has to what one doesn't know; with that in mind I'm glad I only know one woman's body.

I'm not sure if in that second verse, the bolded one, Will Oldham is asking the implied you of the song to go sleep with another guy for a while and then come back or what. Sure seems that way. I don't think I could be down with that. I'm incredibly paranoid. I don't think I could handle being with a woman who'd been with other men to get what she couldn't get from me.

Maybe Will Oldham is such a down fella that he can admit his own failures to this extent. I don't know. If that's the way he loves then I can see why it'd be hard to love him back that way. Not that songwriters write music that literally describes them or anything. Not good ones anyway.

Maybe I should start avoiding that trap.

Son of Man Music Video

I came up with the idea for this video. I filmed half of it, and I edited it completely. I don't care that it looks shitty, I love this video right now with a heart in my chest.



The idea was to slow down the audio while we recorded to half speed. Then we would lipsync/play along to that slow track and speed it up during editing. This all occurred. I just don't know if it really worked or not. The video effect I got from Boris Complete Continuum really helped though. Made the different lighting settings blend better since I added a flicker to the whole thing. Now it looks like it's supposed to be grainy. I'm pretty pleased with the audio mix too, I might add.

Got Em

So that last post ended somewhat dismally. Thought I should post a follow up finally. So yeah, around 9:15 am (which means I could have slept all night) my refreshing paid off and I pounced on 4 tickets right up front in the pit for Radiohead. Behold:


Now I probably can't afford to pay rent. Oh well, I will succumb to credit cards for my obsession.

This Is An Obsession

I am completely ridiculous. It's just after 4am and I've been up for the last hour with Firefox tabs on Radiohead's ticket sale page set to auto-refresh ever 5 seconds. So that I can spend money I don't have on tickets for the greatest band on Earth.

I need a bigger life. I have a life. It just doesn't keep me from doing stupid stuff like this. You know, sleeping on the futon in the living room because my every-half-hour alarms were driving my wife insane. I'm a sad strange little man.

I have all my personal information and credit card details on a notepad at the bottom of the screen so I can copy and paste with lightning speed. I'm a little worried that I might not have a w.a.s.t.e. account for tickets but... hell you don't care.

I figured out why they call it waste.

I have clocks set to three different timezones. I hope this works. This could be my last or only chance to see my favorite band ever. And one day I'll die a happier man knowing I got to see them.

Let's Get Known

So hey, let's get known. If we keep it up, we can show the haters. It's gotta be soon, not later.

So begins the song Let's Get Known by the unbeatable Unicorns. Man, I wish I could write so honestly. When I try I just come off as a 14 year old brat trying to write shit poetry in his notebook before bed. Unfortunately I'm running right out of external problems to write about with any conviction.

Hmmm, how to draw the line between macro-generalized problems and the micro-specified mundane? Who knows.

Most of my favorite songs don't make a lick of sense. I can't even figure out what much of them means. Like Radiohead, Will Oldham, they leave out the full descriptions, but still provide such tedious details as to give vivid imagery.

Vivid images of who knows what. How do you write towards that?

I'm more worried that they don't even try and that the effort I use spells my failure with its very presence.

Silence as a Holster

Well, I ended up using those possible lyrics from an previous post and used a snappy title inspired by an even previouser (not a word) post. It came out in the form of a terrible recording in about twenty minutes. You can get the general idea here:

Silence as a Holster

New Keyboard Amp

Yeah, so I got one of these today. It's a Peavey KB 3 (click the pic to find out more.) It has three inputs for a vocal mic, keyboards, whatever. A massive 12" speaker with a tweeter. I almost bought one a couple years ago when I was first starting out with my old band, Rococo. Instead we went with a Roland KC-150. Never regretted it, seriously, that baby rocks. But we need another amp to run the drum machine through, and this is it.

Funny thing is, although these usually go for $300, I snagged it for $50. My brother-in-law Rob, who lives below me, had a friend bring it over and try and sell it to him. Doesn't use it anymore, or never did. So anyways, they're tough to sell online due to weight and dimensions (weight packed=60 lbs.) and he wanted cash instead of an amp. Happy to oblige.

Possible Lyrics

Silence can betray your thoughts

I know that you have things to say to me

Your words are claiming you don’t know

But all the things you’d convey

Are rolling down your cheeks

Pouring from your eyes

They’re pooling on your chin

Escaping in your sighs

Hurt my precious feelings

Call me rotten names

Scream aloud and cry and shout and

Make audacious claims

Just tell me what you’re thinking

For chrissake please say anything at all

Silence is no cover for

The brief moments [frustration] your anger gets your best

Deep inside your conscious

All those moments sit

Like throwing stones in fists

Swung but not released

Trapped inside your hands

Like idle threats they tease

Well toss them at me please

Hurt my precious feelings

Call me rotten names

Scream aloud and cry and shout and

Make audacious claims

Just tell me what you’re thinking

Just say something at all

Just tell me what my sorry ass

Can do to fix it all

Jaime Stewart Wrote Me A Haiku

Click here to see the haiku that Jaime Stewart from Xiu Xiu wrote specifically for me. I was one of the first few hundred folks to send in a picture of myself holding their new album, "Women As Lovers" (you can hear a song on the ghetto blaster up there.) This was the picture:


I know; it's disgusting. But it was the most Xiu Xiu thing I could think to do.

David Bazan, Here I Come

I'm going to see David Bazan (from the band Pedro the Lion) tonight at Taylor University, Upland. I hope it lives up to my hopes and dreams. I saw Pedro the Lion a few years ago, but it was kind of disappointing. The band played well, and they covered a wide range of their material. It was just kind of a let down from what might have been if I'd seen them a year or two earlier previous.

Now there's new material, multiple monikers, but still the same old Q&A. I can't hide it, I'm pretty excited.

Now back to reading Socrates. Summary: two things are known for certain.

(1) I don't know shit, and
(2) neither do you.

Anna Vogelzang and Tiger Saw Review

Dylan assumed the space at the front of the Dragon's Keep with a quiet but confident demeanor. He rang the bell hanging from the headstock of his ancient and beaten guitar, calling attention to the presentation we had in store. Anna Vogelzang called an "A-huh-heh-hem" and captured the moment. Dylan spelled out his full name, (which I misunderstood,) and assured us that he and Anna would make up the Tiger Saw lineup for the evening.

He began with a stomp of his black shoe and a strum of the guitar, Anna's harmonies meshing with the first melody of the night. He held his head high, and marched through the song with steady resolve while she held a coffee cup in two hands and climbed vocal steps to meet the song's wistfully beautiful mood.

After the opener he asked if anybody had any questions. I asked from midway back if his name was Dillinger abbreviated Dillin, only to receive the reply that it was in fact Dylan Jeremiah. My mistake. As further reply the Tiger Saw came closer to my section of the room to stand before the coffee bar and present to us in a more personal space. Much appreciated.

Short explanations, such as the feeling of being beside somebody and finding your emotions too complex to express, or anecdotes of seeing fully dressed prostitutes in the red-light district of Hamburg (what queer advertising.) A few songs featured Anna adding solo melodies with accompaniment by Dylan. Each song stuck pretty close to the formula, (a working formula,) but one standout included statements about certain ghosts always being near to our hearts. That particular cut also featured travel buddy Joe Arnold adding pizzicato string accompaniment and short bowing on the violin.

Dylan finished with thanks and recollections of friends in Massachusetts. He then launched into a final melody which faded into accappella choruses imploring listeners to keep a song with them to remind of home. A chime of the bell ended the set.

Anna Vogelzang took our attention next, with little announcement save for a request that steamed and blended drinks be saved for after the set. God, that really bothers me. The drinks I mean. Oh well.

Percussive blasts from the guitar were the true heralding of Anna's first "up, up and away-hey-eh" joint, complimented by climbing violin strains from Joe. Rapid lyricism cascaded finally into a fading chorus and formal introduction. Various and sundry names for the tour were thrown about as jokes before the next song was introduced as being penned for Paris Hilton during her "tough" stay behind bars. Indeed, "we love to watch you suffer" rings true, at least for me, not so much the "I love your hair" echoed into infinity towards the end, but the bright charisma carried me to the climax nevertheless.

The following ballad, a finger-picker, was a definite example of Joe's flourishing violin skills. Swirling trills at the refrain gave the old slow-burner the added heat to convince of us of the intended warmth spoken of in the lyrics. However it was "Philly", Anna's recollections of her one time of home in Philadelphia that rang out more magnificently still, bursting forth through crisp falsetto resolving to diminished chords and an instrumental bridge showcasing a charming solo ending in a quiet verse of burning memories.

A rousing rendition of The Beatles' "Your Mother Should Know" came next, with violin harmonizing vocals on the spiraling "sing it again" pre-choruses. An anecdote about actually stopping in Cleveland for the previous night's show preceded "Family Band," a song that begins with the line "how about we move to Cleveland." For the record, apparently Anna would never want to actually move there.

A little cowboy ditty completed the set, a self-proclaimed "quiet version of an already quiet song" that was enhanced by the pleasantly surprised smiles exchanged between the players as correct notes blended together in this new rendition. Dylan stepped up to join Anna on a duet where they played mock lovers. Joe spotlighted once more with quiet plucks of the guts at the start of the evening's closer, "Hymn for a Parents." What a hero, that Joe.

I finally updated the media player, gave it a little more exposure. Oh well, nobody's listening anyway. Now I go to bed too late and wish I'd spent my time more productively. Maybe on a explication de texte, or songwriting, or instrumental practice, or sleeping next to my wife.

It's time to do that last one.

Anyone Who Says Differently is Selling Something

I really love my band. It's a powerful motivator. It makes me want to be better.

Tonight it also made me want to die. But not till afterwards. If only I'd just stayed home and made somebody else happy.

Possible tracklist for a new album:

01. Silence as anticipation
02. ... as assurance
03. ... as peace
04. Silence as inexpressible pain
05. ... as exclusion
06. ... as manipulation
07. ... as a weapon
08. Silence as desperation
09. ... as a resolution
10. ... as a final choice

Sounds emo as all hell, huh? Maybe a "clever" album title like Silence as the Grave would fit nicely. I guess I'll have to change my performance name to As Autumn Leaves Burn In Flames Becoming the Ashes of My Fallen Tears. I'll have to die my hair black and use a flat iron to make it hang all jagged in my face. I'll have to wear eyeliner. Actually, damn! This is starting to sound awesome!

On a more serious note, I'm studying Epicurus in philosophy. Today we redefined hedonism and it actually sounds pretty good. It's all about ultimate pleasure, not just pleasure in the moment, but making choices based on the best pleasure, which often means delaying gratification or working hard to achieve better pleasure in the future.

It's also all about avoiding pain. And in the words of Isaac Brock: "If life's not beautiful without the pain, when I guess I'd really rather never even see beauty again."

Favorite Songs from 2007

rihanna - umbrella
battles - atlas
kanye west - can't tell me nothing
jens lekman - my sister is the opposite of hallelujah
M.I.A. - paper planes
justice - d.a.n.c.e.
radiohead - all i need
radiohead - faust arp
feist - i feel it all
of montreal - gronlandic edit
of montreal - Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse
spoon - the ghost of you lingers
beirut - elephant gun
tough alliance - something special
deerhoof - the perfect me
black kids - i'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you
the new pornographers - myriad harbour
modest mouse - parting of the sensory
menomena - weird
sunset rubdown - taming of the hands
st vincent - now now
st vincent - marry me john
a place to bury strangers - fix the gash in your head (and the track right before and right after this one are my favorites to. sorry no specifics there.)
iron and wine - white tooth man
patrick wolf - magic position
interpol - all fired up

Favorite Albums of 2007

1) Of Montreal – Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?

It’s almost ridiculous how much I listened to this album this year. It helped that it came out early in the year. When I first heard it I just couldn’t stop playing it on my Zen and then my pal Ben bought me the double disc on vinyl. Every track has interesting bits, most of it is insanely catchy, it all hangs together marvelously.

2) Radiohead – In Rainbows

Um, duh. Radiohead is: revolutionary marketing tactics and distribution. They’ve come back down to earth, but it’s nice to see they were changed by wherever the hell they sent Kid A and Amnesiac back from.

3) Battles – Mirrored

I heard Battles this spring. I saw them this summer. I saw them again in the fall. They annihilate my mind. I have never been into an instrumental band before but Battles has made me a believer.

4) Arcade Fire – Neon Bible

How good it is to hear a sophomore album I like as much as the debut. This album has far better lyrics in my opinion. Musically it doesn’t break out of any boxes, but it definitely appeals to me in a more identifiable way.

5) Menomena – Friend or Foe

These guys do not radiate any of the supercool that so many other hip artists are trying to give off. They seem like normal guys getting together and making great music that is sometimes a little cheesy, but mostly really grooving.

6) Sunset Rubdown – Random Spirit Lover

Aside from the first track, this album took me a while to get into, but after I listened straight through it took me back to that old, familiar, Spencer Krug-obsessed place all over again. Next best thing to that forthcoming Wolf Parade sophomore release.

7) A Place to Bury Strangers – Self Titled

This band doesn’t deserve my praise, but they’ll get it anyway. Homemade guitar pedals, early-90’s plus early-80’s combo punch… damn APtBS, how did you make Joy Division and My Bloody Valentine entrust you with their lovechild? And how did you ever make it cry so loud?

8) John Vanderslice – Emerald City

One day people will look back and realize that the most kickass singer-songwriter of this millennium has been casually overlooked thanks to the likes of John Mayers, Conor Obersts, and Kevin Barnes’ who were championed by uncultured masses, tragedy-obsessed teenagers, and ADD bloggers of this cruel cruel world.

9) M.I.A. – Kala

All I wanna do is >bang< *bang* #bang# +bang+ and [kaching] take your money!

10) St. Vincent – Marry Me

If I weren’t already taken… nah, just kidding [Andrea.] This album has one of the most amazing lineups of catchy, rocking, off-kilter songs you’ll ever hear. + she doesn’t sound like a rip off of Feist or Cat Power.

11) Caribou – Andorra

Every year somebody does it right. They rediscover the psychedelic in a way that is both charmingly nostalgic and surprisingly fresh. This year the award goes to…

12) Architecture In Helsinki – Places Like This

Did this lead singer go through puberty between this album and “In Case We Die” or what? The new and improved Architecture in Helsinki generated a lot of buzz that didn’t quite carry them to superstardom this summer. It still got heavy rotation in my mp3 player. Addicting.

13) Feist – The Reminder

In my opinion the duke it out for best outside the band contest was won by a girl. Sorry Kevin D. This time I’m pretty sure I feel it all.

14) Jens Lekman – Night Falls Over Kortedala

Bring on the cheese, err, I meant the classy side of twee indie rock. Self-exposing, yet endearing, Jens Lekman is a very attractive man… in a musical way.

15) Modest Mouse – We Were Dead…

Overall I had a lot of pleasant surprises in terms of old favorites. Modest Mouse, along with Arcade Fire, Architecture in Helsinki, Caribou, Jay-Z and others did not disappoint me. The production value was high, but so was the quality. A few tracks could have been shaved off, but then again, Modest Mouse always errs on the side of too much.

16) Vampire Weekend – Blue CDR

I cannot wait for the revamp of this to drop next year. Ready and waiting, boys. Bring that organ back.

17) Jay-Z – American Gangster

Oh thank god this wasn’t another kingdom coming. It’s no Black Album, not even a Blueprint, but it managed to avoid the pop-crunk slum of ten cent beats on my radio right now and bring some class back to the sub-weighted trunks of true believers.

18) Iron & Wine – The Shepherd’s Dog

Without a release from Sufjan I had to get my folk fix elsewhere this year. Devendra at home? Apparently not (Smokey Rolls What?) Thank God Iron % Wine was there to assemble some fine, catchy tunes with bizarre sitar/acoustic guitar arrangements. I gotta have the fix.

19) Animal Collective – Strawberry Jam

I don’t care what anybody says. This shit is not accessible. However, I’m told it’s the future and all of that… our generation’s genre-expanders and blah blah blah. Well this is their best yet, I’ll give them that. I’ve never disliked, just never been the biggest fan. Maybe this Jam is converting me covertly.

20) Panda Bear – Person Pitch

See above.

21) Black Kids – Self-titled EP

And why do these guys pull record deals and big press off of an EP of four songs that you can hear on their myspace while I work my ass off playing basement shows in Fort Nowhere, IN? Oh yeah, they’re young, they’re hip, and… wow, they’re actually really good.

22) Justice – Cross

Do the dance. That’s it. Overrated? Yes. Built on the popularity of one song? Yes. Ripping off old electropop? Yes. But hey, it’s a really good song!

23) Patrick Wolf – Magic Position

Well, it is.

24) The New Pornographers – Challengers

This album is good. It’s solid. It’s not a disappointment. So why is it no. 24 on my list? There’s just nothing new here. And it kind of lacks the punch that Twin Cinema packed. All around it’s good, just not great, I guess.

25) Kanye West – Graduation

He does it again, and by the way, take that ya half-dolla sucka! Beats are incredible as always, the raps are mediocre as always, the result is an amazing hip hop album, as always.

26) Dirty Projectors – Rise Above

Unbelievable. This is not my favorite style exactly, but the Dirty Projectors more than make up for my personal taste in amazing initiative. By all rights if I’d given this more listens it would no doubt be higher on the list. As it is, I still think it’s great. Don’t get me wrong. I just need to spend more time with it.

27) Beirut – Flying Cup Club

I came onto this pretty late in the game, but I love it. Granted, by the end of the album the repetition makes it a little tough to muster another “oompa!” but the sound is fairly unique and the melodies/vocals are easy to grab hold of.

28) Kevin Drew – Spirit If

Okay, now these albums are still on my top list. I enjoyed them. These were just the albums I had an easier time criticizing. Broken Social Scene rules, and it probably does so mainly due to the contribution of Kevin Drew. However, his “solo” work here suffers from a slight lack in creativity. I think half the songs on here have the exact same drumbeat. It’s a damn fine beat, it works well with just him, it works well for BSC, it even works well on a couple of Feist songs we all heard this year, it just doesn’t work enough to fill a whole album.

29) Tough Alliance – New Chance

The whole album is very listenable, but the first track is what blew me away. I wanted something special. Tough Alliance gave me something special: something real.

30) National – Boxer

I think this album is amazingly well put together and my initial fears (having seen these guys last year) was that they had missed the bandwagon on well-polished rock music and would be lost in the ensuing return to ramshackle acts (like much of the above and most of the below.) As it is, I still didn’t find a whole lot of mindblowing ingenuity here, but as rock albums go, this one is incredibly solid.

31) Deerhoof – Friend Opportunity

They finally made me a fan. The Perfect Me is my favorite Deerhoof track ever and the whole album really spiced up some late night painting sessions at my job. Repainting a whole hallway off-white? Why not throw your conscious into a mindspin with the unpredictable musical stylings of Deerhoof?

32) Interpol – Our Love to Admire

I don’t care what anybody says, half of this album is unbeatable. I actually really appreciate the grander gestures and expanded arrangements featured here. Rest My Chemistry, All Fired Up, No I in Threesome… I’d say these all stand up to the previous catalog. If only the other half weren’t so… mediocre?

33) Brian Jonestown Massacre – My Bloody Underground

Man these guys rock and they just don’t stop.

34) Chromatics – Night Drive

As the name implies, this is a great record for late drives home.

35) Klaxons – Songs of the Near Future

Energetic, lively, tight- this is where dance punk has ended up. It’s not so bad after all I suppose.

36) Christians & Lions – More Songs for Dreamsleepers

C&L had me by default. They took time out of their schedule to play Fort Nothing, and I’m an indentured servant now. So this makes the list.

37) Simian Mobile Disco – Attack Sustain Release

Can’t do the D.A.N.C.E. any longer? Take a break and do an unspelled-out dance to Simian Mobile Disco. Mixes well with Klaxons, Hot Chip, etc.

38) Blitzen Trapper – Wild Mountain Nation

Down home fun for all you wild mountain folk out there.

39) Liars – Liars

A turn for the accessible? How unexpected. Half of these songs sound like DFA1979, but you could hardly call that a bad thing, right?

40) Okkervil River – The Stage Names

In the absence of a new Decemberists album, longtime compatriots Okkervil River donned their stage paint and theatrical attitude to sing a jaunty tune for the indie crowd. Worth more listens than I gave it. Could move up in the future.

Way over Rated:

Before you hear my criticism, know that I have seen Dan Deacon and Deerhunter live and that I’ve watched Black Lips and LCD Soundsystem online quite a bit. They all put on great live shows, and it’s probably due to this that they have generated a lot of buzz this year. It’s just that in my opinion these albums do NOT stand up to the above, even though they are sung the praises of much better.

Black Lips – Good, Bad, Not Evil

I really thought this was over? Am I wrong or are these guys the Hives, only younger, more American, and poorly produced? And lyrically? Uh, what lyrics? Or was that the point? What am I missing here?

Deerhunter – Cryptograms

Not rocking hard enough, not melodic enough to be not rocking hard enough… they were okay live but these guys seem to be a half-good band riding on the recent hype surrounding weird indie rock.

Dan Deacon – Spiderman of the Rings

Sideshow act. Fat, bald dude in sweat suit. Glowing green skull and really trippy vocoding effects. Am I not taking enough drugs to get this?

LCD Soundsystem – Sound of Silver

This is not a bad album, it’s just not a great album. Sorry. It’s not mainstream for a reason. And hearing North American Scum in the mall is not helping my perception of its integrity any. Congrats on the mindblowing tour with Arcade Fire though.

No. Don't Worry. I'll Do It Myself.

Basically it's time to stop guessing around and start to formulate this elusive sensation called inspiration. I'm getting organized: cameras, microphones, motion-sensors... it's going down. I'm really going to catch it this time. I'll trap that golden-egg laying slave of my happiness once and for all. Wish me luck. And sanity.